Do I have enough spoons?
Gang, today is the hottest day of 2018 so far ☀️☀️☀️and I am not coping. I’ve been awake for about 5 hours ... (its 8pm) and I’ve done literally nothing unless you count the cold shower I had to cool down - and it shouldn’t be counted because I had an hours nap after... 😩
So - back onto topic. Spoons. Yes, spoons.
If you don’t know what I’m taking about then no, I haven’t lost my mind (completely). Spoons, or at least the spoon theory, is hugely important to the life of a person with a chronic illness. Supporters of this theory, or spoonies as they have coined themselves, use spoons as a metaphor to describe units of energy.
Created by Christine Miserandino, her essay "The Spoon Theory" was published on her website (link below) in 2003. The essay describes a conversation between Miserandino and a friend, in which 12 spoons were used as a visual aid to describe the energy used for events during a typical day. Miserandino, who was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Lupus, explained that, not only does someone with a chronic illness have to use more spoons or units of energy per activity, but the spoons are not always replenished by rest or a nights sleep. Therefore spoons must be rationed to avoid running out before the end of the day.
Am I a spoonie, I hear no one ask? Well, probably not.
I’ve heard a lot of different theories in my few years since diagnosis. A dr once referred to me as a mobile phone with a faulty battery (cheers mate 😂). I read an article about energy been like a debit card - each activity costs you and you physically crash once the account is empty. An advisor at the M.E/CFS clinic here in Sheffield explained pacing to me using bowl of beans.
For me, pacing, spoons, magic beans 🤷🏼♀️ I can’t get my head around any of it.
I am not a pacer. I mean, I get the principle of it. To rest regularly in between activities so you don’t crash. It’s not really rocket science.
Except, I’m struggling.
After a crash, a major crash, the biggest episode I’ve had so far (I’ve been off sick from work for the last four months), how do I know what my daily limit of spoons are? After the first two weeks that I spent unconscious, I’ve spent my time testing my limits and learning to walk again. Okay not literally, but you get my point. I’m starting from scratch, again!! Something I do everyday suddenly becomes a chore. Easy tasks, like walking downstairs for a drink, becomes a huge mountain to climb - and that’s before I walk back up the stairs. Little things like the weather have become overriding factors in my ability for the day... hence my rant at the beginning.
So, after nearly a decade of symptoms, I guess I’m still taking it one day at a time. And it’s frustrating as hell.
Has anyone else found any tips or tricks to conquer pacing? PLEASE, PLEASE share ❤️.
xoxo
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