Feature Friday

                                   

Berlin Zoo 2016. I booked Katie a ticket to Germany before she had even returned home from Australia and dragged her on a mini break with me and my family. We get giddy and silly when Giraffes are involved.

Happy Friday Gang 🎉🙌🏻😊

So I wanted to try something a little different, a feature. 

I’m making the first Friday of the month *Friendship Friday* - here I’ll talk about stuff I’ve managed to get up to over the past month, talk about how I try to maintain friendships now I have a chronic illness and get my mates involved to talk about how/if M.E/CFS has affected them and our friendship. So I’ve prepared a little questionnaire that I’ll ask a few of my favourite people to fill in ❤️

First up, I asked my friend Katie to help me out. I’ve loved this girl for about 20 years, but we’ve know each other much longer!!  We’ve had our ups and downs for sure, she’s tried to escape me many times and, although she currently lives in a whole other country (lucky you Denmark 🇩🇰 ), we still message each other daily ... but usually about what we’ve watched on Netflix 😂. This pumpkin has helped me move and decorate homes, create an annual event (Tequila Day - you’re welcome world 🤗) and teaches me crap about soil (amongst many, many other things ... well, we don’t call her EduKatie for nothing). She’s also the person that told me to start a blog, to document my chronic illness journey and offload the emotional turmoil I’m not always comfortable talking about face to face. She knows me well, so was a natural pick for me to harass with my questions.

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How long have we known each other?

We have known each other for over 20 years. We’ve grown up from our childhood in the same area, gone to the same primary and secondary schools until we were 17 and always stayed connected since. We have mutual friends and connections to where we are from.

How would you describe me?

Ellie is sassy with her nearest and dearests and its hilarious. I can guarantee in any situation Ellie will be reading it! Shes also quite reserved in a approachable way and always offers help. Shes very interested in supporting those around her and always makes an effort to make an event special or create days of happy memories to share (like friends birthdays, Christmas, bridal parties, leaving dos, or even just trips to the zoo!). But will stand her ground to defend herself when she knows she is right (which she pretty much always is). Shes laid back, fun, caring, and never adverse to a bit of TLC. 

How would you describe our friendship?

For life. 

What is your favourite memory of us?

We have many to choose from over the years. School trips to France (don’t mention the teacher, don’t mention the teacher 😂 !!!), endless numbers of sleepovers and birthdays, cinema trips and Mexican food, and all the Costa Coffees!!

Holiday trips like Paris was a lot of fun with ‘le quack quack’ and the fun of Bournemouth. I loved our ‘mate dates’ we've had like countryside trips to Castleton or that time we stayed in a hotel in Sheffield with the spa access and all day pampering, then had evening cocktails and went to Chester zoo where we ate the epic pizza, saw the giraffes and penguins. Days like those are always lovely to share. Then honours of been bridesmaid for friends. Also the Eurovision parties and THAT tequila night!!! 

But then also softer times like jigsaw puzzle nights, colouring days and evenings watching movie series in the flat together were real hygge (as the Danes would say).  

I have too many memories and a long timespan to pick just one but a really happy memory I have is returning home from Australia to be greeting at the airport!! Despite a lot of contact, even while I was away, theres a big difference between a message and a physical presence of a friend. And then the hilarious laughing we had that night. I don’t think Ive ever laughed so much or felt so warm in my heart as that reunion.

(Ellie: I nearly killed us both when driving home from Chester Zoo - it was a long, hot day and whilst driving on the motorway, my eyes were glazing over and I struggled to keep my eyes open. It terrified me. Since then, I’ve stopped driving long distances on the same day as an activity. Especially when they’re a someone else in the car, sorry Katie!)

How do you think M.E/CFS has changed me?

I would say she has become somewhat withdrawn from a lot of “normal” life. For example not been physically able to go to work and episodes of being signed off. Any withdrawal from “normal” life makes me wonder what kind of knock on effects it may have had (social impacts, physical abilities,  personal thoughts etc) but every time I see Ellie she seems very strong, resilient and confident in who she is, as always. In seeing how she approaches it I can see she’s not one to be beaten or defeated by a diagnosis (even when it does take over your life for days or weeks at a time), Ellie will always have that fight to be more than it and try to live her best life.

Can you tell when i’m having a good/ bad day?

On a bad day I know I would not expect to see Ellie. Theres been times where I've seen her just drained of all energy and no longer able to focus on things. On a good day, to anyone else, it may seem like just an ordinary day.

Did you know about M.E/CFS before my diagnosis?

No. theres so many illnesses and disabilities which get more promotion by health services. It seems this one is quite peripheral and doesn’t have much of a public wide presence from the authorities. Theres very little information about it unless you actively look for it. 

Have I taught you anything about M.E/CFS?

You’ve taught me that theres so many people hidden by it and the symptoms and effects are multiple and cyclically degenerative to each other. Like fatigue causing muscle weaknesses, then causing more fatigue from loss of strength, then a small cold or something can mean wiped out for days because of a lowered immune system. 

Endless prescriptions and injections for a non-treatable condition with no guarantee of the effectiveness but then little support from the health authorities. It’s a battle. 

What is the one thing you still don’t understand about M.E/CFS?

That it’s not higher on health authorities agenda. Given the symptoms patients have from it affecting so many areas of their lives and each symptom aggravating another it’s odd for there not to be more researching into the cause and a treatment to it. 

Also the scientific side to it as an illness- what the common cause of it is, what happens in the body (chemically etc) on a daily basis, how the body responds to the triggers etc

What do you wish others knew about M.E/CFS?

That it is real, it could be affecting people that you might know and just because you cant see it or don’t understand how it affects someones daily life  doesn’t mean it isn’t happening!

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The purpose of this wasn’t completely self-indulgent, promise. But I think the best way to demonstrate how my illness has changed me is to ask the people that know me best. The people who new me long before the symptoms and have witnessed first hand how M.E/CFS has affected me. I’ve never been a particularly active and outgoing person, but I’m definitely more hesitant and restrictive with my time.

So lastly, I asked Katie to pick a favourite photo of us. Naturally one wasn’t enough ❤️. To be honest I’m impressed she managed to narrow it down to three, so I’ve added another one to the mix 👯‍♀️.

Paris 2010. On a holiday with friends to the City of Lights, we pretended to be cultural and went to The Louvre. There was big crowds and yes, the Mona Lisa is tiny, therefore a game of recreating the statues became the funniest thing ever. Me and Katie took a LONG time picking a duo we could pose for, and whilst finally settling on this beauty, we forgot to get the actual statue included in the image - leaving this pic where we’re looking pretty odd.

Derbyshire 2016. At this point we were living together at another friends house. It didn’t last long but there are some lovely memories, like this random evening. The weather was beautiful, the skies were clear and so we decided to drive out to the countryside and sat in a field to watch the gorgeous sunset ❤️

May 2018. My pick. Both me and Katie were thrilled to be bridesmaids for our friend Laura, who we’ve both known for almost 12 years. It’s true when I say I don’t have friends, they are family.